Shoelady For President

Old Lady who lived in a shoe

With the California primary fast approaching and the relentless updates on every primary from Iowa to Indiana, politics dominate the newscasts. Debates, debacles and debasements abound every night on the broadcast news and the talking head shows. Scrutiny, scorn and scurrilous scalawags seem to be the atmosphere in the campaigns of many, if not all.

I’m really dismayed over the lack of quality candidates. So, I think, the Shoelady should throw her helmet in the ring. I am reluctant because  politics is painfully slow. To get anything done of any significance takes decades, and I am an unrepentant hare who moves too fast for Washington or Sacramento or San Mateo or even Pacifica City Hall. But I am willing to give it a try.

As a mom of a mob, where, I’d like to think, we live in a benevolent monarchy, I feel I have the necessary qualifications for run our fiercely divided country. For one I would ensure that we have enough corners in the government buildings to send the folks that are just not getting along. When I moved into a three bedroom house, I was finally sufficiently able to send all ten to corners if need be. I think each member of Congress should have a “corner stipend” with their various other perks.

Second, my elbow room philosophy would become law. The Elbow Room Philosophy essentially means that everyone has their space. Their physical space, of course, in the cherry appointed offices, but also their spiritual and ideological space. The Elbow Room Philosophy is just another name for RESPECT. All branches of government will be mandated to respect each other and their respective opinions. “Can we all just get along?” If not, you may go to your corner. No fighting allowed.

Finally, all members of Congress will have to live within their means. I think each member should clean their own offices, if not for the experience of sympathizing with workers that them may represent. Also, I propose that each member spend some months on Welfare or Social Security as their sole income. I propose they do this in their home bases. Our representatives here in the Bay Area will become acutely aware, quickly, of how difficult it is to live on a fixed income, especially in a geographical area so expensive like San Francisco. I am not asking for more handouts, I want our representatives to know whom they serve.

As a middle child, I have had to broker many armistices in our somewhat tumultuous upbringing, and I have developed an ability to be fair, kind and patient. I think I would make a fine President of the United States. Shoelady for President!!

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