FROM THE SHOE

Dear Steve Kerr

Hey…hi, I just want to thank you for bringing our team to the Finals. They’ve had an extraordinary year. I’m sticking around until the end, which I hope will be tonight. Let the guys know, no game seven, please. I’m not really a basketball fan, or even a bandwagoneer, but with two daughters that love the game, I’ve gotten swept up in the excitement.

And the Finals have been very exciting…no, wait, sorry, I lied…they have been very excruciating. I haven’t felt this much anxiety since Joe Montana played football, and I was much younger then. My daughter banishes me from the front room to the downstairs room because of my verbal expressions of anxiety.

That first game was way too close for my comfort zone, thrilling, but too much so, there ought to be a doctor’s warning. The next two games, the Cavaliers played like warriors, and it seemed like the Warriors were a little cavalier about the Finals. But, apparently, you picked up on my telepathic advice to change up the game plan, and came back with some great wins in the last two games. And I thank you for winning by a comfortable margin that enabled me to sleep those nights.

I don’t know why basketball doesn’t just have a Super Basketball Bowl, and we can freak out all in one day. But, no, the NBA stretches the torture over the course of a couple weeks. I am just too old for this. So I appeal to you, as a fellow middle-ager, win this one for the quipper. So, let the guys know, no game seven, please. Thank you.

Your friend,

Donna Fentanes

A Fragment from Fenelon

The shiny fragment I want to share today is a quote from Dr. McGee’s sermon, “How to have Fellowship with God”, which broadcast this morning. His sermons have been my mainstay every Sunday for decades like Mrs. Cowman’s devotionals have encouraged my heart nearly everyday. Here is the quote from Francois Fenelon, a French Catholic archbishop, theologian, poet and writer, who encouraged the church back in the 17th century and continues to do so even today.

“Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one’s heart, it’s pleasures, and it’s pains, to a dear friend.

Tell him your troubles, that he may comfort you; tell him your joys, that he may sober them; tell him your longings, that he may purify them; tell him your dislikes, that he may help you conquer them; talk to him of your temptations, that he may shield you from them; show him the wounds of your heart, that he may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself and others.

If you thus pour out your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. You will never exhaust the subject. It is continually being renewed. People who have no secrets from each other never want for subject of conversation. They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back, neither do they seek for something to say. They talk out of the abundance of their heart, without consideration they say just what they think. Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved (conversation) with God.”

I hope you all have a great week.

The Return of the Blog

This past week, I sent some of my columns to a friend, he suggested I resurrect my “From the Shoe” blog and write a little each day. I am taking his advice, and putting a Lebron-Iso effort at blogging each day, and pushing myself to the laptop, to the paint, if you will.

Today was a slow day, only two kids pretty much at home. It’s freezing on the coast, which I like, so I ended up watching movies with one of the kids and messing around with the blog.

While I was playing around with different templates, I was watching “Bullitt”. The car chase scene came on and, of course, I stopped what I was doing and watched every minute of that breathtaking piece of film history. Those were some cool cars being driven through a cool city. Even Bullitt’s girlfriend’s car was cool, I don’t know if it was a Porsche or a Karman-Ghia though.

When I watch old movies or even listen to songs from when I was growing up, I get lost in those times. I remember being a kid, what it felt like, how much I liked Steve McQueen, how much I wanted my own Karman-Ghia, and I get stuck, stuck in some nostalgic funk and lose focus on the present tasks.

I get that way a lot, and I want to – not learn to focus – but stay focused, especially when it comes to writing. My friend, Scott Aughtmon, recently posted an article about the 19th century violinist, Paganini. Of course, I read it immediately since I love stories about this great artist. But Scott hit the nail on the head pertaining to not only his genius, but to his greatness, and that was his focused time and concentration to his craft. Scott relates this to business and the need to delegate responsibilities to others in order to focus on the talents and gifts that need to blossom.

I think that is part of what I need to do to bring my blog, my writing, back to life. Not only do I need to delegate some of the things I do with the kids, like transportation and chores; but, I think I need to focus on the things I want to say, not what I think the world wants to hear or even what the church wants hear. But, the thoughts and impressions that come my way. Not a full discourse of theology, not the right answers even, just the shiny fragments like the little stones Much Afraid gleaned on her journey to the High Places of the Shepherd. Thanks for reading.

Here’s the link to Scott’s LinkedIn article:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/legendary-violinist-surprising-reason-you-should-scott-aughtmon?trk=prof-post

The Blazers Bounce Back: Sixth Grade Girls take Division I Title

When most of the Bay Area was riveted on Game 1 of the Warriors series with the Rockets, some of us were holed up in the CYO gym at St. Emydius to watch the 6th grade Girls CYO Division I championship game between the Broncos of St. Thomas More and the Good Shepherd Blazers.

The Blazers didn’t start the season with high hopes, losing a key game and forfeiting another, the future was unclear. Through sheer determination and hard work, the Blazers secured the 4th seed in the playoffs. As exciting as that was, their playoff game was against St. John’s, the undefeated Division I champion, the team they lost to last year. It didn’t look good. The Blazers already lost two games to them this year. But these girls fought a good fight, and triumphed over the Eagles. Rachel Marcic stated on her Facebook regarding this game, “Fast paced, Nail biting, heart pumping playoff game but Blazers got the win ! on to the Championship game next week !!!! Woohooooo!!! Go Blazers !!!!” One more game for the coveted Division I title.

St. Thomas More came to the championship game with an 7-1 record, second only to the now defunct, previously undefeated Eagles. The Blazers hobbled in with a 5-3 record, clearly the underdog. It was a defensive duel from the start. The Blazers held the Broncos score to 3 while amassing 10 points of their own in the first two quarters, the third quarter was scoreless, and we all waited with bated breath for the Blazers to hold their lead during the fourth quarter. But, no, no easy finish for the Blazers. The Broncos kicked in, like the Rockets in Game 4; and by the end of regulation, the score was tied 12-12.

The next three minutes of overtime were excruciating. Back and forth each team rallied, up two, down two, foul here, foul there, each team’s defense demonstrated how decisive their determination can change a game. With the score tied and the clock ticking, Ava Marcic planted a lay up to get the win for the Blazers. Way to go, girls.

Coach Marcic commented: “This year’s Division I was full of talented players and teams collectively. So much, that we finished with a 4-3 record and barely were able to grab the last playoff spot. But, the girls battled through some stretches of inconsistency to get it together and make plays when it counted.” Coach Arenson added: “The girls responded great and were up to the challenge. Winning the championship by beating the #1 and #2 teams was incredible and made it even more special. Hard work and teamwork guided them to the championship. The future is bright for these girls.”

The team wishes to thank their coaches, Marcus Marcic and Brian Arenson, for the time they gave to the team. Also, many thanks to the parents who help transport the girls and organize the schedule. You know who you are.

Team Pic:

Back Row: Coach Arenson, Nicole Lavorini, Ellie Fentanes, Ava Marcic, Coach Marcic.

Middle Row: Maya McKinney, Kat Duguay, Sydney Gallant, Iris Ormando

Front: Emma Bradshaw

“More Blazin’ Basketball”

Back row: (l to r) Coach Marcus Marcic, Ava Marcic, Katarina Duguay, Ellie Fentanes, Sydney Gallant, Coach Brian Arenson. Front row: )l to r) Helen Eichensehr, Emma Bradshaw, Audrey Beaumont-Bent, Maya McKinney.

Last year, Good Shepherd fielded two fourth grade girls Catholic Youth Organization basketball teams. Each team won its respective division title. This year, there was only one fifth grade team; it moved up to Division I competition.

Faced with unfamiliar teams, the Blazers went to work and won seven out of their eight games. Their loss to St. John’s early in the season proved to consolidate the team, and they worked harder, winning the remaining games and taking a win in the semi-finals. The Blazers went against St. John’s Eagles for the championship.

The Blazers were the obvious underdogs facing a strong St. John team again. After their semi-final victory and in light of St. John’s trouncing of their semi-final opponent, Coach Marcus Marcic planned his attack. Equipped with knowledge of the Eagles’ offense, he sought to bolster up the Blazers’ defensive strategy. The Eagle annihilated their semi-final opponent scoring 40 points, with the Eagles’ top contributor scoring a whopping 26 points. If the Blazers had any chance at winning, they needed to shut down the Eagles’ scoring leader.

The Blazers had some extended practices the week before the big game. They were ready to go on May 18 to work their hardest to win a Division I title.

The game was a slug fest from the get-go. There were turnovers, fouls, points lost and points made. The girls hustled back and forth, Blazers would take the lead, but the Eagles would fly ahead. It was a white knuckle ride for each six minute quarter. In the end, the Eagles prevailed 25-22.

The Blazers successfully shut down the Eagle‘s top scorer and held her to only a few baskets. Coach Marcic commented to the Eagles’ team when his team received their second place trophy, “I look forward to the battles that are to come playing (the Eagles) through the eighth grade.”

“This Good Shepherd team earned the right to remain in Division I,” Marcic added, “In their first year playing Division I, the girls more than exceeded expectations. They performed week-in and week out, and relied on each other to battle all season. Each and every player contributed at critical moments to help win games for the Blazers. It was a great season and I look forward to playing an even tougher group next year in sixth Grade.”

— Donna Fentanes

The Gospel According to Matthew..Cuthbert

matthew

Not too long ago, my little hurricanes and I watched my long lost videos of “Anne of Green Gables”. My older kids and I would often have AGG marathons. I thought they liked them like I did; however, I’ve learned otherwise.

There is something in me, deep down, that resonates with this wonderful mini-series from the ’80’s. I don’t know if it’s the luscious cinematography of Prince Edward Island, or the cute and innocent love story of Anne and Gilbert or even Anne’s transformation from a precocious girl to an accomplished young lady. Probably all three. But I think what I like the most is the character of Matthew Cuthbert and his relationship with Anne. What a kind soul! This shy, unassuming man is bowled over by the red-headed firecracker. His love permeates the entire first series of “Anne of Green Gables”. Richard Farnsworth will always be Matthew Cuthbert.

Here are a few quotes from Matthew’s “gospel”:

“You can talk all you like, I don’t mind.”

Matthew loved Anne from the get go. Anne’s nervous non-stop talking in the carriage home from the train station absolutely enchanted Matthew. His love for her emboldened him to stand up to his strong-willed sister and insist Anne stay. It is a wonderful gift when we have folks like Matthew in our lives.

Isn’t a pleasure when we meet someone who just listens to us, who is truly interested in what we have to say, even if it’s things we’ve talked about over and over again. When I was going through a sad divorce, and I thought I would never get through the emotional devastation, there were a couple of folks who would listen over and over again; always encouraging me, always listening when I know they had other things to do. Often, I fall short of this quality, but I am trying to be more attentive to what someone is saying rather than in crafting a response.

“We might be of some good to her.”

This is his answer to Merilla’s pronouncement that Anne would be of no use to them. This sweet, old bachelor persuades his spinster sister in keeping orphan Anne despite her not being a boy. Over time his sweetness rubs off on Merilla as when Anne leaves for school and the train pulls away, “He knew we needed her.” Kindness and tenderness as exhibited in this character cannot help but produce good in and to its recipients. Even amidst the turbulence of teenage tumults of child rearing, a little shot of kindness and consideration helps still the stormy seas.

“I never wanted a boy. I only wanted you from the first day. Don’t ever change. I love my little girl. I’m so proud of my little girl.”

Matthew utters these last poignant words to the weeping Anne as he slowly dies in her arms. He loved her from the beginning. What a blessing and comfort for Anne in her subsequent grief. We have the power in our words to bless, even in difficult situations. But it’s not just his loving blessing to Anne, but his expression of absolute unconditional love and affection to her. He never regretted having her in his life. One of my favorite verses from Luke, “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom,” seems to embody in this affirmation of love by Matthew to Anne. Our Father in heaven gladly gives us the kingdom, is happy we have responded to him. He has only wanted us from the first day.

“Anne of Green Gables” has not only given us a great story set against a beautiful back-drop, but also has given us wonderful characters, the whippersnapper Anne, the beloved Gil, the stern Merilla and my favorite, the winsome, kind-hearted Matthew. I hope we all memorize these words of Matthew, plant them into our hearts and pour forth their fruit to our family and friends.

Matthew-hugging-Anne-for-IMDB11

Christmas Gold

Christmas 2013

My daughter goes to school in Pacifica. Last week, her class went to Sutter’s Fort for their long-awaited field trip. The class as well as the parent chaperones each become a Sutter’s Fort character. They have costumes, and they must learn all they can about their character. My daughter was Elizabeth Bays Wimmer. Little did I know Mrs. Wimmer was instrumental in the discovery of gold at Sutter’s Fort.

Elizabeth, I learned from many rehearsals, was born in Virginia in 1832. When she was 16, her family moved to Georgia where they were miners. She married her first husband there, and she and her little family moved to Missouri. There her husband died. On her way to California, she married Peter Wimmer and they arrived in Sutter’s Fort in 1845 when she was 24.

The story goes that James Marshall found what looked like a gold nugget in the creek near Sutter’s Fort sawmill. He showed it around, but everyone doubted that it was real gold. But, alas, Elizabeth, with her mining experience, offered to test the nugget in her pot of lye soap. If the nugget was just fool’s gold, it would have melted in the soap-making process. Now I quote from Eloisa’s paper: “’This is gold’, thought Elizabeth. ‘I will throw it into my lye kettle and if it is indeed gold, it will be gold when it comes out. I finished off my soap that day and set it off to cool. The soap cooled until the next morning. At the breakfast table, one of the work hands raised up his head from eating and said, “I heard something about gold being discovered, what about it?” I told him it was in my soap kettle. A plank was brought to me to lay my soap onto. And I cut the soap in chunks, but the nugget was not found. At the bottom of the pot was a double handful of potash, the ashy substance that is a by-product of soap-making, which I lifted with my two hands and there was my gold as bright as can be.’” Elizabeth, who remains rather anonymous in the Gold Rush history of California, was indeed instrumental at the inception of the gold rush at Sutter’s Fort.

So it is with Christmas too. Is all this merriment and celebrating fool’s gold or is there a nugget of real gold, true gold, under the ribbons, the wreaths, the wrapping paper and even the religious rituals? Sometimes we have to test the tradition and, like Elizabeth Wimmer, find out if what we are celebrating is the real deal. We must cut through the long blocks of traditions like Santa Claus, the Christmas tree and even gift giving, good and wholesome as they are, and check if there is veracity in this Christmas tradition we celebrate. We may even have to dig into some potash of varying accounts of history; but in the end, there will be, the nugget, the true gold. That, unwrapped of Christmas tradition and various cultural contributions over the centuries, there was born a child. The Child. A Baby….a little Baby Boy wrapped…not in glittering wrapper like a treasured present, but in swaddling cloths…a feeding trough, his bassinet; no stuffed animals surrounding him, but live animals grousing nearby….three kings, at some point, manage to pay homage not in Herod’s palace, but in a humble barn.

This is the nugget; this is the Christmas Gold in its purest form. When the magic of Christmas fades, as it inevitably does as we get older, we can always look to this truth that “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” That truth never fades, that truth always stands the test of time. Though the Church has misrepresented His mandate over the centuries and thereby tarnished His name, even then we must look to the true gold, to His life, His words and when we do, we realize that we’ve discovered gold, Christmas gold. He is the Mother Lode and from the Christmas Gold of His Birth, we can mine inestimable riches in the Gospels, the New Testament and the various writings of those spiritual miners over the centuries. This Gold Rush has been going on since the first Christmas. And from this Mine, He bids us to: “…store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Merry Christmas!

10 Things I Hope My Children Learn: No. 3 – Gratitude

Wow, Halloween came and went. October came and went. What a whisking whirlwind the beginning of fall was. I was driving up Skyline Drive just two nights ago….early November…and I saw a Christmas tree in someone’s window. Whaaat?? Already. There is a special holiday that sometimes gets drowned between the ghosts and goblins, and the tinsel and trees. My mom is saddened that Thanksgiving is overlooked. Well, this next column is dedicated to the sentiment, the emotion, which has its own holiday, a sentiment that I hope my children cultivate, and an emotion that Henry Ward Beecher so delightfully expresses:

“The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!”

I’ve been called an ingrate a few times in my life and to combat or correct this accusation, in reality as well in the echoing corridors of my mind, I’ve strove to be grateful, to appreciate all that has come my way. I know I take much for granted, but there is much for which I am deeply and truly grateful. Here are a few things.

Over five years ago, I had to go on assistance. This was a hard decision to make and I had to swallow a lot of pride, but it was necessary for me and my family. Actually, I should have done it much sooner. I want to say thank you to the taxpayers who support this government that provides this service to those who are in need. I am slowly weaning myself off assistance and am glad to be working and paying taxes to replenish at least a fraction of what I used. Nonetheless, I am thankful to have had this resource available, and I thank the community for supporting this program.

I am thankful for the many friends I have in my life. To those who have given me emotional and prayer support as I raise these kids on my own, I thank you. My Facebook friends have encouraged me in my writing. Thank you. I am thankful to my family and all the help they have given me, for my parents, especially, who help me considerably…daily. My sister, my greatest advocate and sounding board, I am so thankful for. And, of course, my ten children and one son-in-law. In countless ways, great and small, they bless me, they love me, they honor me and they are my greatest gifts.

Finally, and supremely, I am grateful to the God who is. I am grateful for his creation that I thoroughly enjoy. In Pacifica, we are beyond spoiled with natural beauty. The ocean with her perpetual pounding peridot-colored waves is but an earthly example of an eternal entity. I am grateful to a church that has been entrusted with the Gospel, the good news, and its noble and transcendent themes: redemption, reconciliation, eternal life and love. All I can do is echo the psalmist’s declaration: “O taste and see that the Lord is good.”

Even in my trials and afflictions, I can be thankful, I stumbled on this verse from Psalm 119 during a dark time of my life: “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” (v. 71) As difficult as it was to be thankful for the trials in my life, I have learned that those times have yielded the precious fruit of patience, trust and an increased faith.

I hope my children learn to be grateful and be thankful for all the benefits that come their way each day.

“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reviewing the Contract

I entered into a contract with Jesus Christ over thirty years ago when I decided to invite him into my life and become a follower. Not sure in my Catholic upbringing whether I had actually asked him into my life, in a little church gathering I sealed the deal. In the blush of young idealism, I enjoyed fellowship, ministry and worship as I grew in my spiritual life. Even despite the eventual disillusionment of the ideal, I stuck with my commitment, my contract. Though church leaders failed, fellow Christians failed and I failed to live up to what I thought he wanted of them and me, I considered myself still contracted to him.

Over the decades, I have reviewed the contract – reviewed what it means to follow Christ, to be a Christian. I may have signed up in a rush of youthful zeal, but I have continued because of a single conviction that he is the way, the truth and the life as he has said he is. As I knew then as I know now, Christ is serious about “losing your life for my sake.” That is part of the deal – he lost his for mine, and I then lose mine for his.

Anyone that has worked in daycare or even in the schools knows what I mean when I say someone is a runner. There are locks and panic devices on gates near daycare yards or elementary school yards because some of the kids are runners. They hear the gate open or close and I bet they can distinguish by the different tones of the sound of the latch whether it is opening or closing. Then they run. They want out. I had a gate at my house in the East Bay that I had to tie intently because a couple of my kids were runners. Parents and teachers have to be vigilant when taking care of these little “bolters”.

In Romans 12:1, the apostle Paul urges believers to be a living sacrifice. Often over the years, I considered this verse because when times have been tough, perplexing or painful, I’ve wanted to run. When times are particularly tough, my ears tune in to any escape like the runner kids in the schoolyard. I want to jump off the sacrificial altar and take off. When I get that way, which I did not too long ago, I review the contract.

He indeed still asks me to lose my life for his. OK. Regarding the difficulties of my life, he said there would be tribulations, but he says to be of good cheer, anyway, because he has overcome the world. I knew that. And also, as Paul says in Romans 8:38, 39: “… I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us [me] from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” I am not separated from his love. He still loves me – yay!

What’s the problem, then, Donna? It has come down to a matter of trust. Do I trust him? Will I trust him like Solomon encourages in the first verse I ever memorized, Proverbs 3:5, 6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.” You would think “trust” would be elementary to the Christian education; let me assure you, it is not. To trust him, especially as you get older, is just as hard as when you were younger and probably not used to trusting anyone. We live in a culture where we are encouraged to be dependent on no one. God calls us to be utterly dependent on him. For me, that can be uncomfortable, and then I want to take over the reins and take off. Run, if you will.

Nevertheless, after reviewing the contract, and in light of all the times the Lord has indeed helped me, even in dire circumstances, I’m not going to run. I am going to stay this course. That single conviction, that he is the truth, still serves as a great weight bearing wall that is unmoved and unmovable. Despite my “Eli Eli lama sabachtani” days and nights, I will “hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise him.”

About my blog: I am a mom of 10 kids living in Pacifica. The name of my blog, “From the Shoe”, is swiped from Cheaper By The Dozen’s Lillian Gilbreth’s summer newsletter. The “shoe” reference is to the children’s’ nursery rhyme. I mix humor and philosophical musings with everyday events. I hope you like it. From the Shoe artwork by Alec Maloney.

What I Hope My Children Learn: No. 4 – Slow Down!

“Donna,” my boss called, “come in here.” My co-worker joined us, and he said shut the door. I knew why. The day before I made a significant error. Not grave, but big nonetheless. I was new to this job, so I was nervous. When the door opened ten minutes later, two words remained in my mind, “Slow down.”

Slow down. How ironic! I have always been like the hare in that old children’s story. Running to and fro, accomplishing little. Not even finishing a race that should have been a cinch to win. But, middle age has a way of teaching me things. Anxiety forces me to slow the hell down. Slow down on the road, slow down at home, slow down at work.

I hope my kids learn to slow down now while they are young and full of energy. When I was a young adult, I was idling way too high. What I wanted, I wanted now and in its entirety. Whatever passions or needs I needed gratified, I couldn’t wait for their fulfillment in an appropriate timetable. I thought having all that I wanted would make me happy. Boy, was I unprepared for adulthood. But now that I am older and have slowed down, I have gleaned some important tips.

Turn off the noise makers. The TV, the Ipod, the computer, the maddening thoughts that whisk you into a frenzy. And stop. And breathe. And listen.

Stop. Stop worrying. Corrie Ten Boom wrote: Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength – carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.

Breathe. Breathe deep. Being near the ocean, I enjoy an exquisite air quality. Mixed with a little sea scent and hint of fish, a deep draught is intoxicating. And relaxing.

And listen. Listen to the birds early in the morning. Listen to the unending pulse of the surf and the howling ocean wind. Listen to those thoughts that are deep down inside of you and soon things become untangled or at least manageable.

Slow down and enjoy today. G.K. Chesterton wrote: The modern world has far too little understanding of the art of keeping young. Its notion of progress has been to pile one thing on top of another, without caring if each thing was crushed in turn. People forgot that the human soul can enjoy a thing most when there is time to think about it and be thankful for it. And by crowding things together they lost the sense of surprise; and surprise is the secret of joy. Slow down and make room for surprises.